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What is Parentification?

Writer: kimberlygosselinkimberlygosselin

Updated: Feb 5


Parentification occurs when a child takes on responsibilities typically meant for a caregiver, such as providing emotional support to a parent, caring for siblings, or managing household duties beyond their developmental capacity. While this role may foster resilience and independence, it often comes at a cost to the child’s emotional well-being.


What Research Says About Parentification


Studies have shown that parentified children are at higher risk for anxiety, depression, and difficulties in emotional regulation (Hooper, DeCoster, White, & Voltz, 2011). Research suggests that excessive caregiving responsibilities in childhood can lead to chronic stress and burnout, which may contribute to maladaptive coping mechanisms in adulthood, such as perfectionism or difficulty asking for help (Wells & Jones, 2000).


Emotionally parentified children—those who serve as a confidant or emotional regulator for a parent—may struggle with identity development, self-worth, and forming secure relationships later in life (Jurkovic, 1997). However, research also highlights that when individuals are given the opportunity to process these experiences in therapy, they can develop stronger emotional intelligence, resilience, and self-awareness (Hooper, 2007).


Healing in Therapy and at Home


Healing from parentification involves recognizing these patterns, fostering self-compassion, and learning to prioritize one’s own needs. Therapy can help individuals untangle their roles, process unresolved emotions, and develop healthier ways of rela ting to themselves and others. Modalities such as Inner Child Work, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) have been shown to be effective in helping individuals reframe their beliefs about self-worth and responsibility.


Telling your story and having it be believed and understood can be a powerful part of the healing process. Studies indicate that expressive writing, such as writing a letter to your younger or future self, can help process trauma and promote psychological well-being (Pennebaker & Chung, 2011).


Intentional reparenting—offering yourself the care, kindness, and support you may not have received as a child—can also be transformative. This might include meeting your emotional needs with self-compassion, allowing yourself to rest and play, or practicing self-soothing techniques.



At home, creating a safe space to acknowledge and meet emotional needs is essential. Setting healthy boundaries, engaging in self-care, and allowing oneself to receive support are key steps in healing. Reconnecting with activities that bring joy, relaxation, and a sense of play can also help restore a sense of lost childhood.


If this resonates with you, know that your experiences are valid, and healing is possible. Research affirms that those who work through the effects of parentification can go on to lead fulfilling lives with strong relationships and a greater sense of self-awareness. Reclaiming your right to be cared for is an important step toward well-being.

 
 
 

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